Why Rain Reminds Me of Zombies

apocalyptic photo of parched earth by Daniil Silantev on Unsplash
Apocalyptic photo of parched earth by Daniil Silantev on Unsplash

Sitting here in the RV with the (extremely loud) A/C going because it’s about a zillion degrees outside, I hear these small popping sounds. Of course I panic that it might be the A/C breaking down, then look around and figure it’s my dog clicking her teeth in her sleep – which it isn’t, so I get up and walk around, listening more closely as it becomes more prevalent…. it’s rain!!!!!

The ground outside is parched and dry, crunchy underfoot after a couple of weeks of hot, arid weather. At last, a little rain. I fear it’s very little, though. It’s already stopped after only a few moments but the dark cloud is giving some much needed shade on this old girl Stella — the RV, not me, altho I am a bit of an old girl now.

Working on work, reformatting older website code that is obsolete to follow a more semantic style, sweating in the heat, wishing I could put an RV-port (like a really tall carport) over Stella, when it suddenly occurred to me that I’m slowly preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. (… Oh, you too, huh? Cool.) Because when SHTF, all good people need to band together and get right. We’ll need to have shelter and rainwater capture systems in place, solar powered generators and high walls, we’ll need shotguns and flare guns, crossbows and pistols and rifles, we’ll need gas cans for when we find abandoned vehicles that might need gas, and we’ll need to map out all the places that will still have gas, using our GPS search now (Hey Google, where’s the closest gas station?) then transcribing it to actual PAPER so that we can use the paper maps when our cell phones die. Because lord knows ya can’t find a decent’recent map anymore…

So here’s the deal on my quest for true frugality, the one that will take me into the next two decades without having to eat the paint off the walls: Those who can cut loose of and aren’t dependent on civilization’s commonly used conveniences – like electricity, city water, internet – will be the survivors. Ya gotta be creative, think ahead, make some slightly uncomfortable changes. Take for instance, RIGHT THE HELL NOW: I’m in WordPress typing this out when I lose my already-shitty connection to Hughes net crapola internet service. My dish that is supposed to receive the signal and get my ass up and running failed, maybe due to the rain clouds, maybe due to them being the shittiest internet service ever on the face of the planet, but it’s gone and I cannot even save a WordPress draft version of this. So I go semi-analog and copy/paste it into a local text document so I don’t lose my thoughts or lose my mind.

And right after ^ that thought ^ – BAM – the electricity goes out. Bring on the Zombie apocalypse. Anyone up for helping me build a fortress?

cryptic photo of a being behind a door in an old asylum in Berlin by Nathan Wright on Unsplash
cryptic photo of a being behind a door in an old asylum in Berlin by Nathan Wright on Unsplash

Why Rain Reminds Me of The Walking Dead

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